Confidence & Being Myself
How Far They Got
Friday afternoon: reading-corner time! Some children flopped on the mat. Some sank into the beanbags, which went fffffff, a long slow sigh, when you sat down. The books lived in four colored boxes: red, teal, yellow and purple. Every book had a stripe on its spine, so it knew which box to go home to.
Freya loved her badger book. She was halfway through, and nearly, nearly at the chapter she’d been waiting for all week. Her bookmark was a strip of cereal box with half a horse on it. She found her place, wriggled down into the beanbag, and began.
Then she noticed Lena, by the door. Lena’s bookmark was nearly at the back. The very back! Freya looked at Lena’s bookmark. Then at her own, stuck in the middle. Was Lena reading faster than her? Lena turned a page. Freya watched her turn it.
Teo, on the next beanbag, used a popsicle stick for a bookmark. It was still near the front, exactly where it had been on Monday. Teo read a bit. Leaned back. Gazed at the ceiling, as if something good might be up there. Read a bit more. He never once looked at anybody else’s book.
Freya got to the bottom of her page. What had the badger just done? No idea! Her finger had walked along every line, but her eyes had gone to Lena’s bookmark, and Teo’s, and back to hers. Back to the top. Same page. Again.
By the window, Mrs. Achebe was untangling the blind cord. “Five minutes!” she called. “Then books away.” Somebody went to swap books. Freya’s finger was still on the very first line. The badger chapter was one page away. Maybe two.
Lena’s bookmark is nearly at the back. Freya’s is still in the middle, on the page she’s read twice. Five minutes. And the badger chapter is right there.
What does Freya do?
Every choice costs something. Let’s see what.
Tell Lena: “I keep looking at your bookmark.”
“I keep looking at your bookmark,” Freya told Lena. “It’s nearly at the end. Do you read faster than me?” Lena looked down at her book, then at Freya. “Oh. I’ve read this one before.” Freya left her own book open, and listened.
“At my grandma’s,” said Lena. “I know what happens. And I skip the maps. There are tons.” She leaned in close. “Want me to show you how far I get? I could show you every day!” Freya nodded, eyeing the maps in Lena’s book.
On Monday Lena came to the low table with her book open. “Here,” she said, pointing. “This is where I am.” On Tuesday she showed Freya again. On Wednesday she held the book up from the doorway. Freya didn’t have to look for Lena’s bookmark anymore. Lena brought it over herself.
By Friday Freya knew exactly where Lena was in her book, every single day. She’d heard all about the maps, and the pages Lena had read at her grandma’s. But now every morning began with another page to look at. Lena plonked down beside her. “Guess where I am now!”
Choose a book from the same box as Lena
Freya put her badger book back in its box and took one from the purple box instead. Lena’s box. There was a boat on the cover. Inside, the letters were smaller and squashed closer together than in the badger book. Like they were whispering.
Freya started at the very beginning. Three people were talking on page one, all at once, and she kept flipping back to see who was who. When Mrs. Achebe said books away, Freya had read exactly one page. And she hadn’t looked at Lena’s bookmark once.
All next week, Freya read the boat book. Slowly. Stopping to figure out who was talking. Sometimes she glanced up at Lena, and then lost a name and had to hunt for it on her own page. By Friday she really, really wanted to know where that boat was going.
Later that Friday, Freya spotted her old badger book on the low table. Someone else was reading it, with a bus ticket for a bookmark, already past the chapter she’d been waiting for. Freya remembered an earlier part: the badger asleep in a bag of grass seed. She had meant to tell Lena about that part. Well, she could still tell her. It was a very good part.
Read her book behind the shelf
Freya carried her badger book to the beanbag behind the shelf. Fffffff, it sighed. From there she could see the wall, the back of the shelf, and her own book. Nobody else’s. She found her page, and began again.
This time Freya followed the badger all the way down the page. And over! In the new chapter he crept along a row of back porches, taking one boot from each. One boot! What was he going to do with them? “Time to stop,” called Mrs. Achebe. Freya didn’t even hear her the first time.
When Freya came out from behind the shelf, two children had already swapped books. Teo was telling Lena something, waving both hands. Lena laughed. Freya came closer, but Teo had finished. “Books back in the boxes!” called Mrs. Achebe. Freya closed her badger book.
On Monday Freya sat at the low table again. Lena’s bookmark was still near the back. Teo’s popsicle stick was still near the front. Freya opened her badger book to the part with the boots. She put her finger on the line. Then she glanced across the table, just once, and went back to the badger and his boots.